Courting

Yes I’m using an old ass medieval term for dating. I’m sorry. I’m old school. I really wish it was like back in the days when courting was in fashion. I would have been called ‘smashing’, ‘debonaire’, a true gentleman. I would be strutting around in a top hat and a cane. I envision looking like Gary Oldman as Count Dracula in Coppola’s adaption of Dracula. Talk about sexy! What do I get now..fucking “cute”.  Being called cute fucking sucks. It makes me feel like I’m 12 as opposed to being ahem…38.  Who the hell gets called cute at 38? I’m thinking its because of my youthful good looks, funny personality and that I’m short. Short people always get called cute.  Midgets/Little people get called ‘cute’. I’m not that little you know. I’m like the fucking jolly green giant next to a midget. Some women say that I’m good looking, I’ve been called handsome (depending on what I’m wearing) and even sexy. Cute…that really doesn’t cut it. It’s definitely a cold shower mood killer.

So let’s get back to courting. What is courting you ask? Well it’s the prequel to dating.  You ask the woman who is the apple of your eye out to dinner or for a walk across a bridge. Something very low key. You want to make sure that you want to pursue this. There is no kissing, no sex and absolutely no type of physical contact except for the good night kiss on the cheek (if you are lucky).  The courting process involves holding open doors, pulling out chairs, helping her with her coat, jacket or sweater and being a true gentleman. You court because you are interested. Some may say that courting and dating are synonymous, but they aren’t. Dating these days means having sex after the 2nd or 3rd date. Now I’m not judging anyone, but I think that’s pretty whoreish.  That’s just me. There is no way I’m going to trust anyone that will want to fuck me within 3 dates. She is definitely not wifey material. I’m saying have some standards woman!

There are some women out there that enjoy the courting bit. There are some that claim they want to be courted and then there are the whores who say it’s an ancient stupid tradition.  The women who enjoy being courted are far and few.  The few that I have met rather enjoy my debonair ways.  

As Latinos, courting is in our blood. It is a tradition that was brought to our people by the conquistadores during the conquest. Unfortunately, the Spaniards never bothered to court the countless Mayan, Aztec and Incan women, but that’s another whole story and a whole other blog.  As I was saying, courting is a Latino tradition. It’s been bastardized over the years with the advent of technology with people texting, web chats, chat rooms, dating sites, etc.  People who court and the courting tradition itself is on the verge of becoming extinct.  Our society is based on the immediate self gratification.  We want what we want when we want it. We don’t care about anyone else, but ourselves.  Everyone just wants to bust a nut. People across the board have lowered their standards. This is why courting is becoming or has become obsolete.  You have to see the faces people make when I say I like to court. They look at me like if I said I was a terrorist. It’s a mixed look of shock and pity. I don’t care though. It’s my tradition. Fuck all of you.