Sunday, January 16, 2011

Yelping for Sex

NYC is a gourmet Mecca. No matter where in NYC you are, you will always have more than 5 choices of culinary delights and that's all on 1 NYC block! To clarify, when I say NYC I mean any neighborhood within the 5 boroughs. Unfortunately, that includes Staten Island. Who the hell goes to Staten Island? I surely don't, but I can't argue that I've had some great Italian and Japanese food there. It was great, but it's not that amazing that I would run to take the ferry.

I can't imagine living anywhere else in the world. I'm saying, where can you get Indian, Mexican, Chinese, Italian, Japanese and Afghani all on one block? No where in the world. I live in the city, but was born and raised in Queens. I have to say that if you want great ethnic food, Queens or Brooklyn is the place. Don't bother with Manhattan. I'm not saying you can't find great food, but Queens and Brooklyn offer the best. It's cheaper, it's better and true to its roots. Manhattan is too pretentious and expensive. Just hop on the train and head to the outer boroughs. Trust me that you won't be disappointed.

I will travel close to 2 hours from Manhattan to go to Coney Island for some of NYC's best Pizza. When you want the best of the best, a 2 hour trip is definitely worth the wait. I just won't eat any crappy pizza. I'm sorry. It's not that I am some gourmet chef. Not even close. I can throw down in the kitchen, but I do know what I like. I don't settle for less. Why would you?

Great food is like sex. If it's not good, you'll never eat at that place ever again. If it's good, you'll want to go back there again and again. Hell I've traveled across state lines for some great bootay.  If it's worth it, they will come...ahem...

When looking for a new spot to eat, I Yelp it. Imagine if there was Yelp for sex? That would be awesome. A sample review would read like, "Great ambiance, it was a little too noisy, but who's complaining, great for a party, service was impeccable and the main dish was fresh and melted in my mouth." The problem would be the haters out there who would write negative reviews just because they were ejected/banned from the "restaurant". I would have to read several reviews in order to determine the common thread.
The biggest problem would be if your "restaurant" sucked. You would never be able to live down your review.  That would SUCK! Regardless, I still think this sex Yelp would be a great idea. Hmmmmm......

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