Friday, March 4, 2011

Ayyyeeee....Fo! They are UGGly!!

I'm so freakin' ecstatic that spring is right around the corner and that winter is finally coming to an end. Why? Well winter in NYC has been a b**tch. I'm so tired of this damn snow and the bleakness of winter that it gave me a touch of the winter blues. I'm so glad that the sun is appearing much more frequently and that it gets darker later in the day. The other most important reason I am ecstatic for winter to end is because that means it's officially the end of UGG season. Well almost. The warmer it gets, the less I see of the world's ugliest fashion accessory. The Ugg boots. I HATE...UGGS! (Note: even though it may be a NYC sweltering summer hell hot day, just know that there is some crazy chick running around in tiny shorts, a tank and those stupid Uggs.)

If you know me, you know how much I can stand those boots. They are the bane of my existence. You would think I was a stylist or some fashion consultant. That I am not. I'm so far from it. I'm a tomboy. I'm a t-shirt, sweater, jeans and sneakers type of chica. So really who the f*#k do I think I am? I just know what I like. Dasss it! You know what I'm saying.

Well a day doesn't go by, that I don't see someone in the street wearing those effin' boots. For those of you that don't know me, don't be shocked. A lot and I mean A LOT of people hate those boots. If you own a pair, just know that some of your friends hate them. My friends know I can't stand them. They just don't give a flying F**k and still wear them.

So I hear that they are warm, comfy and toasty. Well if that's how you want to feel, then keep your ass home. They are not even cute. They look caveman ridiculous. It doesn't help that some designers decided to jump on  the UGG train and design limited edition Uggs. There is the Jimmy Choo UGG with all those UGGly rivets, grommets and studs. You know Jimmy ain't wearing those things. He's taking it the bank. Trust that I ain't hatin. I just hate that there are more Ugg boot selections. Then there are also the celebrity designed Uggs by Betsey Johnson, Christian Siriano and Manolo Blahnik. I don't care. They are all UGGly.

A day does not go by that I don't spot someone wearing these boots. On the bus, on the train, heading to the gym, at a club, at a bar, at a list is endless. Besides them being UGGly, I have my own selfish reason for hating them. Yes I am admitting I'm selfish. I have somewhat of a shoe fetish. I look forward to looking at the type of shoes women wear. The UGGs killed the art of Retifism. There is nothing cute or remotely sexy about the UGGs. Nothing.

I can't stand seeing a women dressed up and then I look down to see what shoes she's paired with her outfit and POW! those damn UGGs! Talk about a killjoy. Those boots really know how to not just kill an outfit, but  a mood. I was on the bus the other day and spotted these on a woman wearing sweatpants. Whatever. They were horrific.
Now ladies and friends, if you are going to stick with your UGGly UGGs, you have to take care of them. Shoe maintenance is an integral part of your wardrobe. That means if they are stained by water, snow, mud or who the hell knows take them boots to the DRY CLEANERS. Yes the DRY CLEANERS. They will clean them up and make them look all purrrty for you. NOW...let's pay attention....close attention...If your UGG boots are ripped, torn or severely busted, YOU NEED TO THROW THEM OUT. I don't care that how much you spent, THROW THEM SHITS OUT!  There is no excuse for you to be wearing torn, ripped, busted ass UGG boots or any type of shoe. THROW THEM OUT! I don't get it. I just don't get it. Maybe some one in the blog reading world could explain to me why would you leave your house with your UGGs looking like this???

Courtesy of my twin bff, NW. Thanks for being on the UGG detail!


  1. I'm with you! Fear not NY...UGG season gives way to crocs season --shoot me now!
    My biggest problem with these is that they make a perfectly attractive woman look squat and chopped off at the shins. Why the hell would anyone want to look like they have short legs?

    Bravo for speaking out against this scourge of society. ;)

  2. I'm so amused by your hatred of UGG's LOL!

    I don't have them but I do like them...plain brown ones not those intergalactic ones ;)

  3. OMG -- i HATE this too! Put in some effort and throw on some cute long boots or ankel booties women!!

    Love the blog!!
    Diana L.