Thursday, June 30, 2011

Shopping with Girls....the surefire way of getting me to go with you.

Shopping...ugh that dreaded word! Now as you know, I am not your typical girl/woman. I am also not a boy/man. I'm a woman with some boy like qualities. I love sports, beer, porn & women. My personality has a masculine edge, but in no way shape or form am I trying to be a biological boy. I'm also not knocking down the transgendered folks. To each is own I always say.
Now that I've cleared the political air, let's get back to this post. Most guys hate to shop. That's the reason you always find chairs or sofas in stores. It's not so women can rest their tired feet. It's for guys and people like me to rest and get some respite from holding all the goddamn shopping bags. I'm not complaining about the bag holding because that would be not be chivalrous of me. What I do complain about is how BORING shopping with a woman can be. SNORE....

Its not a fun all. All we do is lag behind and unwillingly follow the woman into every store while appearing to be remotely  interested and excited. SNORE. Any guy or person like me that states the contrary is a big fat liar. The things we do for love. It doesn't even have to be romantic love. It's the love you have for your parent, sibling, friend etc.

I like to go in and out of a store. I know my sizes & what I like. There is no way I'm going to spend hours rifling through racks as if I were cataloguing an exhibit. I go in, pick up the product, head to the register, pay & get the hell out. Very very simple.

God forbid I want to go to Modell's, Champs, a sneaker boutique or even an adult novelty shop. What? Ok so maybe not always the novelty shop, but if I need a new fitted or new kicks, come shop with me. Oh so here we go with the rolling of the eyes or the infamous one eyebrow lift accompanied by the pleasantly sarcastic, "sure". Come now, at least pretend you want to go like we do. God forbid I say, "sure" to shopping. The next response would be like "forget it" or better yet "forget it I thought you wanted to spend time together." If you're Catholic or a recovering Catholic, the insta-guilt switch is instantly turned to ON.
Shopping is definitely a no-win situation for us. Unless....shall I dare propose my revolutionary and compromising idea? Shopping should be something we can BOTH enjoy. No its not furniture! Boo to furniture shopping!! That's Level 4 in Dante's Inferno. What I mean ism ahem...Lingerie shopping!!! That's fun.

Oh here we go with women acting all shy and shit. Give me a break. Talk about an activity both parties could enjoy. She loves to shop and spend $ (hopefully not all of yours) and you, well what is not awesome about checking out the woman you are shopping with trying out or imaging her in lingerie? 

Mmmm...Lingerie (Homer Simpson voice). Lingerie is fashion and fashion is art. I love looking at a beautiful fine ass woman in some sexy lingerie. Now, lingerie is not just some lace underwear and a bra. It is high fashion. Victoria Secret's, that's some cheap ass shit. That's lingerie on a mad budget or maybe you just don't know any better. Better say you don't know any better.

Check out some of my favorite spot s,Agent Provocateur, Clo Intimo and La Perla.
These spots can get pretty pricey, so it should only be given to the person you actually care for and not the neighborhood cuero (be quiet M). Those cueros can get VS or even that cheap crap from Pretty Girl. So go ahead and shop till you max out your card or and at least make one of these shopping events genuinely fun for the both of you. Those are bags, I would definitely LOVE to carry. 

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