Melt this!

I am allergic to many things such as almonds, fresh strawberries, apples, lima beans, dust, cats, etc. It doesn't help that every now and then I have eczema. TMI? It also doesn't help that my "friend" is also allergic to most of the same items I am. Actually, who am I kidding. She's worse. I'm actually surprised she's not allergic to me. No really. If its not the detergent, its the deodorant, the lotion, the soap, etc.  With that being said, I always have to be careful with the products I use behind closed doors..ahem.  Since I like to use candles, I needed to find a product that wouldn't send either of us to the ER or make me whip out my Epi pen. Not Sexy!

I needed the help of experts. I headed to one of my favorite adult shops in the city, The Pleasure Chest. I love this place. They have a little of everything for everyone. They are my go to place for "accessories". I explained my sensitive skin & allergy dilemma to the great folks at PC and the girl recommended the Jimmy Jane After Glow Natural Scented Massage Oil Candle. I chose the Pink Lotus.

Talk about amazing! The candle fits in your palm and it comes in a ceramic candle holder and one of the top edges has a mini spout to help drizzle the oil as it melts. The Pink Lotus gives off a beautiful and warm aroma. The candle melts perfectly so the oil is not too hot as you pour. It glides on smoothly as you massage the person. It didn't stain my sheets either. That was a plus.

I couldn't wait to get home and give it a test run. I did a small patch test on my skin first and it was a go. The big test was on my "friend". Jimmy Jane is the ISH! Neither one of us had a reaction and we enjoyed it greatly. GREATLY. I instantly became a fan of Jimmy Jane.

If you know anyone that has sensitive skin issues, check this product out. I'm looking forward to checking out & ahem TRYING the rest of their collection.

Zenkichi...one of Williamsburg's Best Kept Secrets (Sssh! Don't tell the hipsters!)

Its been quiet some time since I've reviewed a dining establishment. It's not that I've stopped eating out. Quiet the contrary. I eat out way too much & need to start cooking. The problem is that there is always some Top 10 or Top 20 must eat lists that hits my inbox or someone posts on FB. These lists are not just mere lists, they are challanges! My goal is to go through these lists and compare what these reviewers wrote versus the reality. You know I don't believe half of those full of crap reviews. I just use them as a jumpoff.

So here goes...if you're looking for sushi or some crazy Phoenix roll..this is NOT THE PLACE.

Zenkichi

This Williamsburg Modern Japanese eatery appeared on Refinery29's Top 10 Secret NYC Restaurants to Impress Your Foodie Friends list. Did someone say 'secret'? Instantly, this became my must do list for the summer. I couldn't get a reservation for several weeks. I parlayed my dilemma to a friend of mine who suggested I plead my case saying it was someones bday. Guess what? it worked! Now, why didn't I think of that?

The outside of the place looks like an average NYC building. Each table is private. It is set up with a roll up bamboo screen that gives you some ahem privacy. Each table is also equipped with silent buzzers that summon your server. How cool & awesome is that?

I brought my date since I had to try out these privacy features for my trusty readers. Oh sorry, I meant I had to try out the FOOD for my trusty readers. For the record, it felt like I was having an affair. I'm saying you have this shade, the silent buzzer, the place is dimly lit, flowing sake & japanese style tapas that are ever so sexy. I love thet feeling that I'm up to no good, so this was perfect. On ambiance alone, I give this spot high marks. Ahem..getting back to the real reason behind my review, the food. You definitely have to do the Chef's Omakase Tasting Menu for the full effect. All 8 courses were amazing. My favorites were the Washyu Beef Tataki (it melted it in your mouth), Sashimi of the day (Tuna Tartar), and the Saikyo Miso Cod. I'm was not a fan of the cod, but now I am. 

The Washyu Beef is the one in the white bowls.

Our server was great. My only minor concern was that she wasn't well versed in sake and their selections. I know nothing about sake. All I know is what tastes good to me. I asked her to tell me the difference between the regular sake tasting menu versus the premium. She couldn't tell me so she called over another server. He basically told me exactly what was written on the menu. Not much help. Premium more or less means better so that's what we decided. I was not going to do anything regular at this place.

Left: Grilled Teba Wings; Right: Saikyo Miso Cod

We had 3 different types of premium sake. We each both loved a different one. The 3rd selection we did not like. I ended up downing it like a shot because we couldn't let it go to waste. Betty Ford would've been proud.

Left: Mineoka Tofu; Center: Truffle infused with Whiskey; Right: Frozen Black Sesame Mousse

To my surprise, the great people at Zenkichi  remembered my birthday story. Our server appeared at our table with our dessert with birthday candles & catching me in a most...ahem.... interesting situation. I clearly remember saying to my date (my back was to the shade), "She's behind me, right?". Luckily I was only slightly misbehaving. Those bamboo shades definitely set an... ahem...mood.

I sang Happy Fake Birthday to my date as we tried to contain our laughter at the situation. I have to say Zenkichi definitely got thumbs up for detail and service. 

Zenkichi is without a doubt and bribe highly recommended by this Insomniac. The food was absolutely delicious, the service was impeccable and the ambiance is ideal for a great romantic date. It definitely can be a bit pricey, so this is not the place you bring your side pieces or bootycalls. I know they need love too, but not this much love!

Bookmark this Brooklyn spot & take your boo on an anniversary, birthday or what the hell...a fake birthday!

Buen Provecho!

Fallin' in love...10 years later

Let me begin this post by saying that I am not stalker. Yes, I know it sounds like its the 1st stage of denial of an addict. Really I'm not, even though today I acted like I was lol. 

I'm just a really big fan of a rather famous musical artist. Ok she's REALLY FAMOUS...it's none other than Alicia Keys. Oh where do I begin about my love for Ms. Keys? I feel in love with her shortly after her Songs in A Minor was released. My amazing brother in law (if you ever met him, you would agree he's pretty amazing) gave me a copy of her cd.

Hearing her husky tinged voice lace r&b infused hip hop beats made my heart skip a beat. There wasn't another artist like her around. Her lyrics were straight up, the girl could sing & the beats were fresh. It was love at first listen. I fell in love again when I actually saw what she looked like. I was like "Damn!" Her caramel complexion, those brown eyes, those braids & that killer smile. It was all over for me. I had never "fallen in love" with a musical artist since I was a teen loving up on Johnny from Menudo. (P.S. They all looked somewhat feminine so I shouldve seen that as a sign.)

Aye Alicia, tomorrow will mark our 10 year anniversary since Songs in A Minor was released. I have purchased (never bootleg!) every copy of her albums, attended 2 concerts, was at one time a paid member of her fan club & today actually saw her. Yes like in real person. Ok so she was like 10 feet away from me surrounded by 2 bodyguards & a wrought iron fence; nonetheless 10 feet only separated us.


Both of my exes and anyone I'm currently dating, knows my love for Alicia Keys. It's part of me. If you love me, then you have to accept the fact that Alicia is my boo too. My last ex-gf (you know who you are) gave me one of the best presents I could have ever wished. She took me to see Alicia Keys at Radio City Music Hall. She called in some favors to get me amazing seats. Amazing seats indeed! Check out some of my pics. These are mine. I took them. (Disclaimer: I didn't copy and paste them from someone's site. No one can sue me for using their pics without authorization because I own this!) 

Work has been a bit chaotic for me so I haven't really paid attention to Twitter. I will never make that mistake again! To my surprise I see that she's giving a "secret performance" at Joe's Pub in NYC. I read this like @ 2pm & she had tweeted about it a couple of hours earlier!!! I quickly got on FB & changed my status to, "who the hell works near joe's pub?". I work up in El Barrio & Tuesdays is one of my busiest days so I couldn't leave. This was hell on earth. This would've been my 2nd near miss since Alicia was at my job the week before & I found out way too late. Plus it wouldve been unprofessional of me to have approached her. Now if I was a real stalker, I wouldn't have cared. I respect her privacy and I also need my job.

So after securing the office (thanks S), I bounced around 340pm & headed to Joe's Pub. I hit up my fellow AK fan to join me. Of course my luck, I get there & its sold out. Surprise surprise. I stick around waiting for my homegirl when a black SUV pulls up. People are coming out of Joe's Pub, 2 bodyguards secure the perimeter and everyone is on alert. It's official...my boo Alicia Keys has arrived for her soundcheck!!!! I text my homegirl to hustle it on over.

Alicia Key's SUV

Alicia Keys entering Joe's Pub (right before she blew me a kiss).

We waited for about 15 minutes & I see everyone start to position themselves. As her man Swizz would say, "It's Showtime!". I whipped out my droid and tried to get a pic. Those big ass guards were blocking her. As she ascended the steps to the entrance, I yelled out "Alicia Keys, I love you!". Alicia turns around and blows me a kiss. I could've died right there. I was stunned & speechless. I know it sounds dramatic, but at the particular moment everything in the world was great. 


Now if she had walked over to me,  I would've fainted right then and there. I know! I'm such a herb! Well I'm glad she didn't. I wasn't ready. I will be the next time we have another chance encounter. God looked out for me today. He had all the trains running on point that I ended up getting to Astor from Uptown in 15 minutes! That's a freakin' world record!


I had a great day and I want to shout out to all my friends who rallied me on my Alicia Keys journey and who tried to figure out ways to get me a ticket. It is definitely appreciated. Biggest lesson learned....never forget to check Twitter! 


Alicia, if you ever get to read this I'm not a crazie. I'm just a fan. I love your music, your sense of style, your humanitarian vision and creativity. Your music gave me hope during my darkest times and it is also provided the soundtrack of love in my life. Thank you for your music and your lyrics. Keep on doing what you do! 

Busted Feet Contest

Now that the summer is here, my other seasonal pet peeve has also arrived. During the winter, all I do is bitch and moan about those stupid Uggs. During the summer, all I do is bitch and moan about people and their fu*ked feet. Yes, I said it. So what?! If you have talons as opposed to pedicured feet, then you need to get you some Uggs and rock them all summer long. That's the only condition Uggs should be worn in the summer.

What is it with people leaving their homes in open toes shoes or sandals and not having a pedicure? Do I really want to look down while I'm riding on the train or bus, or waiting on line to buy something at the store and see chipped nail polish, crusty toenails, ashy feet or just plain hooves? There is no excuse for jacked up feet. I'm saying, even horses get new horseshoes when they need to. Why not get your feet done? It's going to take about 30 minutes and around $15-$20.

Look I'm not saying I have model feet. I don't, but I take care of them. I love my feet. I think my feet are sexy. I don't care what you think. I maintain them and make sure they look clean, smell clean, feel soft and my nails are trimmed. It's very simple. A quick pedi goes a long way. Hmmm...as I type away I've noticed that I need a touch up myself. Now, all I said was a touch up since I had a pedi last week. Normally, a pedi lasts about 2 weeks, but I wore flip flops all weekend especially gallivanting in the West Village on Pride Sunday. All of that has taken a toll on my feet. Tomorrow I shall make an appointment!

Getting back to the topic, all I have to say is, "Good grief!" I can't stand to see a woman dressed up all nice and looking beautiful and when I look down, she's got rotten nail polish from when she was in high school. There is no excuse for such laziness. If you can't take care of your feet, I can only imagine how you "take care" of the rest of your hygiene. Now guys, the same goes for you. Do you think it's sexy for you to have long ass toenails that are yellow and cracked? That is not sexy. I'm starting to wonder if that's the reason that guys keep their socks on in porn flicks??? I don't know of anyone keeping their socks on while fornicating. Who the hell does that? That's like when guys where socks with sandals. Really who the hell does that????

So if you haven't made your appointment to get a pedi, NOW IS THE TIME! I'm all over NYC and if I happen to glance down and see that you haven't had a pedi since you were born, know that I will snap a picture with my handy dandy trusty droid. Let's see how many pics I can come up with for this one. I know some of my readers have the same pet peeve that I do. So readers let's make this interesting, send me your pics so I can create a NYC  Busted Feet Wall of Shame. Ok so here are the rules:

1. Picture has to be taken somewhere in NYC. Your vacation pics won't count. 
2. Take a picture of the feet, ONLY. We are not trying to get arrested for some violation of privacy crap. I know I'm not!
3. Tell us the details of where this crime was committed. (i.e, Downtown E train)
4. Date of crime.
5. Your email address

We will pick a winner the day after Labor Day. I'm not rich, so there is no big fancy schmancy prize. The winner will get 2 movie tickets for either the AMC or Regal Theaters. 

So clear out the memory cards on your cell phones and let the games begin!!!

NYC Chinatown Eats...the quickie tour

A couple of weeks ago, my brother-in-law extraordinaire took my friends and I on a quick tour of his favorite Chinatown eats. We started our tour walking from City Hall to his favorite dumpling spot in Chinatown, creatively called the Fried Dumpling at 106 Mosco Street. We ordered 5 dumplings for $1. It's literally a hole in the wall. The dumplings are so fresh and light, unlike the big bulky dumplings/wontons you get at those crappy take-outs.

Walking up Mosco Street reminded me of the little Chinese lady who used to make her famous Hong Kong cakes back in the day. Her little red gated shack is still there. It's on the corner of Mott and Mosco Streets.

We used to wait on line for up to half an hour for 2 bags of her famous, hot, toasty and yummy cakes. Boy, do I miss her!

Next stop was getting some authentic Chinese style beef jerky at New Beef King 89 Bayard Street. At first, I was hesitant to try this spot out. I've never really had beef jerky. The only beef jerky I've ever seen were those nasty looking beef sticks at the bodega/grocery stores. My brother-in-law ordered us the fruit flavored beef jerky, pork strip jerky and regular beef strips.

I have to say that I fell in love. I have gone back 2x since then. My favorite has to be the fruit flavored beef jerky and pork strip jerky. I haven't tried the other ones, but I will the next time I go back. This is another must on your Chinatown tour!

Since we were pretty much full from the dumplings and jerky, we roamed the streets of Chinatown to walk it off. We stopped at this little old school Chinese owned stationary store that sells everything from hand fans to snaps. Who knew snaps could be so much fun at our age?

We stocked up on snaps and tossed them at people walking by. Yes I know, we are supposed to be mature adults, but it was so much fun. In the end we just tossed them at one another. The snap game ended when my sister tossed one towards my head as I was putting my Yankee cap on and it busted on my hand. It hurt lol. After laughing and creating havoc with the snaps, champagne poppers and faux Chinese New Year "fireworks", we were hungry for some dinner.





Our final stop was Joe's Shanghai. My BFF Dee has made me boycott Joe's Shanghai for years, but I broke down and cheated. It was amazing! I've been dreaming of these dumplings ever since. I even went to their original Queens location, but the Chinatown location is better. Joe's Shanghai is famous for their soup dumplings The minute you sit at a table, the waiter already wants to know which dumplings you want to order.  You have a choice of pork or seafood/crabmeat dumpling. Both are equally delicious. They come in a bamboo steamer basket.

There is way to eat these dumpling since they are filled with soup. You pick up the dumpling from the top with the tongs. You place the dumpling on your soup spoon. You then break a little hole with your teeth on the side of the dumpling. This enables you to drink or slurp the soup from inside the dumpling. Now remember, these are piping hot! The soup inside the dumpling is also VERY hot. So be careful that you don't burn your lips. I've warned you! The rest of the food there is pretty good. Make sure you hit this spot. These dumplings are amazing. Whenever I post a mobile upload of these dumplings on my FB page, I get tons of comments saying how much people love these dumplings or asking where did I get them.

In the future, I'll add the rest of my favorite Chinatown eats. For now, this is a great quickie jump off for those of you who want to start exploring Chinatown in NYC. So forget about going to Chinatown to get your bootleg Gucci bag or bootleg Prada sunglasses.  Go to Chinatown and get some authentic & original culinary fare!


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NYC Pizza

If you are from NYC, you know that pizza just ain't pizza. NYC pizza is the only pizza I eat. I've tried to eat it in different states and in different parts of the world. My ultimate conclusion is that it sucks everywhere, but in NYC. I haven't been to Italy, but they are the exception. I'm saying they;re the motherland of Pizza.

There has to be a pizza spot every 2-3 blocks in NYC. I don't know how people can just walk in and just order a slice and eat it. I can't do that. There are particular spots in NYC that I will only eat pizza from. There are all these fake ass pizza spots popping up all over the city. There's the famous or 'infamous' $1 a slice spot. I won't mention the name, but you get what you pay for. Then there are the 2 different "original ray's" pizza spots. They both suck. Their sauce is too sweet and the dough is too thick and 'doughy'.

A great NYC slice of pizza has just enough sauce (not sweet), plenty of cheese and the most important part of the pizza is the dough. When a slice is cooked just right, you know it because you hear it and feel it. When the pizza guy places your slice on the paper and you grab and fold it, the slice is to supposed to break in half. It's not supposed to fold like a goddamn soft taco. You need to hear the crack. Its very similar to hearing the skin crack when you bite into a real Coney Island Nathan's hot dog. That's a whole other post.

If I have to tell you my 2 favorite spots in the city (borough wide), they can both be found on the planet of BROOKLYN! You can't be surprised. I'm saying Brooklyn is where all the Italians are. Two of my favorite spots are  Totonno's in Coney Island (not the other locations) and Di Fara's on Avenue J. The 3rd runner up would be Patsy's, but the one is Spanish Harlem not those tourist traps. 

If  I am in the mood for a good old fashioned slice of pizza, I have no problem whipping out my metrocard and taking an hour and half ride to CI. It's worth the trip. So make sure your ipod is charged, you have cash in your pocket (cash only) and you get there early (if the pizza dough runs out, you are assed out...NO PIZZA FOR YOU!). Go there early, make a day of it. Check out the Aquarium, snack on a hot dog or candied apple, get on the bumper cars and cap it all off with a classic Napoletan slice of pizza. Boy do I love my city!